Youtube: Arcane Casebook by Gari

Have you ever wondered why the more you chase being special, the more miserable you become? What if I told you that your desperate need to stand out from the crowd is actually the very thing keeping you trapped in a cycle of disappointment and emptiness? Today, we’re diving deep into a psychological truth that most people refuse to face. One that legendary philosopher and psychoanalyst Eric from warned us about decades ago. You see, there’s something profoundly broken about how we approach happiness in modern society. We’ve been sold this lie that our worth comes from being exceptional. From proving we’re different, better, more talented than everyone else around us. But here’s the uncomfortable reality that From discovered through years of studying human psychology. This obsession with specialness isn’t making us happy. It’s destroying our ability to experience genuine contentment and authentic connection with others. Think about it for a moment. How much of your mental energy goes into proving you’re unique? How many hours do you spend crafting the perfect social media post? Carefully curating an image that screams, “Look how interesting my life is.” How often do you feel that gnawing anxiety when someone else gets recognition you think you deserve? This isn’t coincidence. This is the predictable result of a culture that has convinced us that ordinary life isn’t worth living. From understood something that most of us are too afraid to admit. The pursuit of specialness is fundamentally rooted in fear. Fear of being forgotten. Fear of being ordinary. Fear of being just another face in the crowd. But what we don’t realize is that this fear is creating the very isolation and unhappiness we’re trying to escape from. When we’re constantly performing our uniqueness, we’re never actually being authentic. We’re trapped in an exhausting theater where we’re both the actor and the audience. Let me paint you a picture of what this looks like in real life. You wake up and immediately reach for your phone, scrolling through carefully curated highlight reels of other people’s lives. Within minutes, you’re comparing your behind-the-scenes reality to their polished performances. You feel that familiar pang of inadequacy, that voice whispering, “You’re not doing enough. You’re not special enough. You’re not living up to your potential.” So, you start planning your own performance. The workout selfie, the productivity post, the humble brag about your latest achievement. But here’s where it gets really insidious. The more we chase external validation of our specialness, the more we disconnect from our authentic selves. We start making decisions based not on what genuinely fulfills us, but on what will make us appear more unique, more accomplished, more worthy of attention. We choose careers that look impressive rather than ones that align with our values. We form relationships that enhance our image rather than ones that nourish our souls. We lose touch with the simple pleasures that once brought us joy because they don’t fit our carefully constructed narrative of specialness. From observed that this creates what he called a marketing orientation toward life. We begin to view ourselves as products that need to be packaged and sold to the world. Our self-worth becomes entirely dependent on external market forces, likes, shares, compliments, achievements, recognition. We become alienated from our own experience because we’re so focused on how that experience appears to others. The tragedy is that in our quest to be special, we actually become more similar than ever. Look around. Everyone is desperately trying to stand out in exactly the same ways. Everyone’s posting the same motivational quotes, chasing the same lifestyle goals, performing the same version of success. The pressure to be unique has created a paradoxical uniformity where everyone is frantically trying to differentiate themselves using the same playbook. This is where’s wisdom becomes revolutionary. He suggested that true happiness doesn’t come from being special. It comes from being human. There’s profound peace in accepting that you’re part of the human experience, not separate from it. There’s deep fulfillment in finding meaning through connection, love, creativity, and contribution rather than through distinction and recognition. Consider for a moment the happiest people you know. I’m willing to bet they’re not the ones constantly broadcasting their achievements or desperately seeking attention. They’re probably the ones who seem comfortable in their own skin, who find joy in simple moments, who are genuinely interested in others rather than constantly performing for them. These people have discovered what from called being mode rather than having mode. They focus on experiencing life fully rather than accumulating proof of their specialness. But how do we break free from this trap? The first step is recognizing that the voice in your head telling you that you need to be special is not your voice. It’s the voice of a culture that profits from your insecurity. Every industry from social media to self-help to luxury goods depends on you believing that your current self isn’t enough. that you need to become something more impressive, more unique, more worthy of attention. The second step is practicing what From called productive love. Love that focuses on giving rather than receiving, on understanding rather than being understood, on connecting rather than impressing. When we shift our focus from how can I get people to see how special I am to how can I genuinely contribute to the lives of others, something magical happens. We discover that meaning doesn’t come from being recognized as special. It comes from being genuinely helpful, loving, and present. This doesn’t mean giving up on growth or achievement. It means changing the motivation behind them. Instead of pursuing goals to prove your worth, you pursue them because they align with your authentic values and contribute to something larger than yourself. Instead of creating to get attention, you create because the act of creation brings you joy and serves others. Instead of achieving to feel superior, you achieve because the work itself is meaningful. Here’s what’s beautiful about this shift. When you stop desperately trying to be special, you often become genuinely remarkable. Not because you’re performing specialness, but because you’re expressing your authentic self without the desperate energy of seeking validation. People are drawn to authenticity like plants are drawn to sunlight. There’s something magnetic about someone who isn’t trying to impress you, who isn’t performing, who is simply present and genuine. The irony is that the people we admire most throughout history, the artists, philosophers, leaders, and innovators who truly made a difference, weren’t focused on being special. They were focused on their work, their love, their contribution to the human experience. Their specialness emerged naturally from their authenticity and dedication, not from their marketing efforts. If you’re feeling inspired to explore these ideas more deeply and embark on your own journey of authentic self-discovery, I want to introduce you to someone whose work beautifully compliments these reflections. Gari Nguyen is a 29-year-old author currently living in Silicon Valley who has published 13 books in Vietnam since she was 17 years old, including novels, short stories, and personal essays. What makes her writing so compelling is how she explores these very themes of authenticity versus performance, of finding meaning beyond external validation. You can find some of her works on Amazon, such as Justar Me Out and A Luxury Item Called Me. Her books offer the kind of relatable wisdom and honest introspection that can deepen your understanding of these concepts and support you in your own journey toward genuine happiness. They’re perfect companions for anyone ready to move beyond the exhausting chase for specialness towards something more fulfilling and real. So, I challenge you to try something radical for the next week. Stop trying to be special. Stop performing your uniqueness. Instead, focus on being fully present in your ordinary moments. Find joy in simple conversations. Take pleasure in routine activities. Notice how it feels to engage with life without the constant pressure to prove your worth. You might discover, as did that the ordinary human experience is actually extraordinary when we stop trying to escape from it. The path to genuine happiness isn’t through being special. It’s through being authentically, courageously, and compassionately human. And that journey starts the moment you decide to stop performing and start.